Every new year rolls in like the dawn of a brand-new day, a day filled with hopes, aspirations, and lofty dreams to be achieved before the clock chimes midnight. For me, while the dream of marriage is yet to be made flesh, life over the years has taught me some invaluable lessons which I believe every single person still anticipating marriage can take to heart and live by.
LESSON # 1: DEAR SINGLE, YOU ARE WHOLE IN CHRIST
Yes, you are. You are complete in Christ. You are a whole being, not an incomplete half looking for another (better) half for completion. I learnt early enough that no human can complete another human. We all have in us a God-shaped vacuum that only God himself can fill. So, the best another person can be is a complement. When we realize this truth, we will stop looking for love (and completion) in all the wrong faces and places. We will stop expecting any one man (or woman) to meet the deepest longings of our hearts. We will look to God to complete us. We will then realize that even as a single person, we have already been designed by God to live a life of wholeness and fulfilment. So, today even as we desire marriage, let us ditch the lie of the enemy who keeps whispering to us that we are incomplete without a spouse. YOU ARE WHOLE IN CHRIST!
LESSON # 2: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, NOT WHAT’S MISSING
As humans, we tend to fixate on what isn’t working in our lives. The children of Israel did it. They had been blessed by God, rescued from slavery, delivered from the pursuing enemy and made to walk miraculously on dry ground amidst the Red Sea, yet they complained. Their eyes were fixed on what wasn’t working: the wilderness environment, lack of water and dearth of meat to eat. We tend to condemn them in our hearts every time we read the scriptures, but many of us are no different. We often quickly forget the things that are working for us and focus on the one thing we do not have. So, the next time you are tempted to think you are lagging behind in life because you are not yet married, call to mind all the wonderful things you have going in your favour: the beautiful family and friends that you have, the job that puts food on your table, your good health, the holy spirit dwelling in you; I could go on; the list is endless. So, count your blessings and keep a joyful heart always.
LESSON # 3: LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST
I once spotted in a store a book written by Joel Osteen, titled ‘’Your Best Life Now’’. Even without delving into its pages, the book’s title alone persuades me to live my life to the fullest today, tomorrow and forever. It is never wise to allow life pass us by, all in the name of waiting for life to start after saying ‘’I do’’. Life is already happening now! How much of it has passed you by? Today is the day to start living fully and intentionally. Take those courses you’ve always known you should take. Go to those places you’ve repeatedly told yourself ‘’I will go there with my spouse once I get married’’. No! Don’t do that. Now is the time to explore, create and obey the God-inspired stirrings of your heart.
LESSON # 4: DISCOVER YOUR GOD-GIVEN IDENTITY AND PURPOSE
The single phase of life is the best time to discover who you are, how you are wired, what your purpose is and the direction you should be headed in life. Discovering who God has made you to be helps you get started early on the right track. It also gives you clarity on who can go with you on your life’s journey. Some people never take the time to discover themselves, until later in life when they are already married to a spouse whose worldview and life path are radically different. Friction quickly becomes the order of the day, and a home front which ought to be a blissful centre turns into a war-zone. This need not be our story. Right now, in this golden season of singleness, let us invest in discovering our God-given identity and start walking in our purpose.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT BRAINERD…
I read about Brainerd almost eight years ago, but his story is still fresh in my memory. A young American missionary, David Brainerd discovered the call of God upon his life while studying at Yale College, and completely gave himself to the preaching of the gospel among the native Indians of Delaware and New Jersey. So passionate was he about his assignment, that he continued to preach tirelessly until his death at age twenty-nine.
Every time I think of how crucial it is to live a purposeful life as a single, I remember this young missionary. Brainer lived for only twenty-nine years, but they were years of impact. He had no wife; he bore no children, yet he left an indelible imprint upon church history and inspired others to walk in the path of sacrifice and selfless service to Christ and humanity. I pray that the example of this young General will inspire every Christian single out there to arise, discover their identity and purpose, live life to the fullest and live daily for Christ, the one in whom we find completion.
If you are looking for a group or hub for singles to grow, blossom and get prepared for marriage, the God’s Prepared Singles is just what you need